Today is the Monday of the week I plan to die. From my perspective, I don’t feel that I have any reason to live. I know they say CBT etc can help but that can’t change what has happened, only the way I think about it. I still think the world is a bad place where anything can happen and I just don’t want to be a part of that world – no amount of CBT can help that!
I won’t be putting what method I plan to use as I don’t want others to try it – if you are like me and desperate enough, you will find a method that is right for you – I am not here to make that easier for anyone, just me!
I had an appointment with my cc today and she has asked if she can come round on the 17th to see me and see how I am. I am fine with that. I feel bad that she will have to justify her actions but I will leave a letter exonerating her from any wrong doings – she really has been there for me over the past few weeks and if it was another time, maybe things would have worked out.