This post is only happening as I can’t sleep and need something to take my mind off things!!
I’ve got an appointment with my GP tomorrow (well today) and I’m a bit nervous about it. I need to decide what to do medication wise. Here is where I am at so far on the decision:
Since stopping them of my own accord I have noticed a difference but more in how I feel feelings. When I am ok, I feel that and seem to be able to do some tasks and move forward. However, when I am feeling low, I go very low and have lost days just being in bed.
I guess the decision I have to make is do I want to feel numb to my emotions and hopefully be able to move forward or do I not go back on them and really feel the lows and highs (although I wouldn’t call them highs, just not low if that makes any sense!!). At this moment in time, I really have no clue.
I also need to give my GP the letter from the SARC from last week and so am worried that will all be brought up. I know I am very much burying my head in the sand right now, but is that a bad thing?
On a slightly lighter note, I had my personal training session today. One word sums it up – OUCH!!! Every part of my body is aching but I did enjoy the feeling again of being pushed to my limit – even if my limit is now a lot less than it was! My session consisted of squats (using a suspension trainer), body row, devils chair (knees at 90 degree angle with back against the wall, so like you are sitting on an imaginary chair and hold it – legs shake and burn very quickly!!) Do 3 sets of those 3 exercises. Next was romanian deadlifts, press ups and prone bridge as fast as possible – again 3 sets of those and then finish with gar hammers, plank and sit ups with punches – yup you guessed it, 3 sets of those as well!! I know it doesn’t sound much but trust me, when you are using weights, it does you in!!
I’m really not looking forward to saturday when a) the aching will be at its worst and b) I’m supposes to do another workout – hmmmm, let’s see how I feel eh!!
Ok, well it’s 3.15am and I’m nowhere near tired but need to at least go to bed to see if can doze off!