I have put off applying for DLA (disability living allowance) for a few reasons:
1) Denial – if I gave in and applied for it, then I was accepting that this was happening and I was in a bad enough place that I needed this
2) Media – from all accounts in the media, this is being cut ALOT and so I didn’t think there was any point
3) I just actually couldn’t be bothered!!
However, my cc has been telling me for a few months to get the form and we could fill it in together. Well whilst she was away I called for the form and that’s what we did today. Something that I didn’t think would be a problem at all turned out to be. I didn’t realise how low I have got and the problems I have until a 3rd person was telling me their perspective and filling the form out (obviously I’m signing it and agree with it but she wrote it as I couldn’t even do that!!).
The fact I haven’t even cooked anything for over 11 months is pathetic and the only people I am now seeing are professionals (having pushed everyone else away). This is an extract for one of the questions which asks about having someone with you when outside:
“I am very anxious when outside and would not be able to keep myself safe in an unfamiliar environment place as I could dissociate, become unaware of my surroundings and I have also been suicidal and may feel impulsive about putting myself in danger.”
This is all true but seeing it written down is a lot different from having it going around your head. I wonder if the government realise how difficult filling in a form can be and how ironically something that is there to essentially help you, actually sends you the other way with that form!!