Another time..

08 Dec

I’ve ummed and ahhed about writing this post for a few days. It is extremely personal and to be honest quite a scary thing that totally freaked me out and one I know I will struggle to write about. However, I have decided to go ahead with it for 2 reasons:

1 – Selfishly if anyone else has experienced this then I would really appreciate you telling me (either post a comment and ask for it not to be published if you don’t want it to or email me through the contact form).

2 – If anyone else has been through this and it has freaked them out like me, then know you are not alone in it

Ok, so here goes. A few times over the past couple of weeks I’ve experienced what I can only describe as being in a different time. I go back to before I was assaulted and stay in that period for quite a while (was nearly 2 days last time). The thing is, now I am in the correct year, I know that it wasn’t real but in that period I knew it was 2009. I had absolutely no recollection of any assault and I actually had a debate with my cc and therapist in that time that I was right and got angry that they were trying to say otherwise. They pointed out that all diaries, newspapers and internet said 2011 so why was I so resolute that it was 2009. I couldn’t answer them but just knew I was right. I don’t remember going ‘into’ or ‘out’ of this year except flashbacks started again when I am in the real now.

The only thing I can try to explain this is it is the anniversary coming up and I know I am becoming extremely anxious about it. I just don’t know if this is ‘normal’ and is kind of scaring me. Everytime I ‘remember’ again, it is like going through it all again. If anyone can shed any light on this I would be extremely grateful!!! Also a quick mention to @aclolitac on twitter for listening to this when I first realised and was freaking out!!


Posted by on December 8, 2011 in Uncategorized


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4 responses to “Another time..

  1. Rachel Mort-Adams (@theWriteRach)

    December 8, 2011 at 10:08 pm


    It sounds like some sort of disassociation which, as far as I’m aware, is not uncommon in reaction to severe trauma. It’s like the mind cuts off knowledge of the trauma and takes refuge somewhere safer for a while.

    But I’m no expert…

    Could you mention it to your psychiatrist (if you have one) or telephone MIND’s infoline for advice 0300 123 3393/email ? Someone with the right knowledge needs to discuss this with you and explain it.

    I know it’s easier said than done, but try not to worry unduly – it never helps. I know – it never stopped me worrying either!



    • femaleptsd

      December 8, 2011 at 10:23 pm

      Thanks for that phone number and email add. I might try and give that a try when I feel up to it. I am under a psychiatrist but not seeing them at the moment. My care co-ordinator said she was going to speak to her and if she wanted to see me she would let me know – so kinda out of my hands right now.

      I’m really glad it seems ‘normal’ if there is such a thing!! x

  2. Rachel Mort-Adams (@theWriteRach)

    December 8, 2011 at 10:51 pm

    Just a thought – I know it’s very difficult to push for anything when you feel so bad and are vulnerable but it’s worth remembering that even if the psych. doesn’t ‘want’ to see you, that you are entitled to request to see her – and/or request a second opinion – if you have concerns that you don’t feel have been addressed.

    What you’re experiencing is scary but understandable under the circumstances – that said, you do need to discuss it fully with someone with the correct knowledge and receive explanation and reassurance in return.

    You could just copy the body of this blog post into an email and send it to the MIND info address – if that’s easier – and see what they say.

    I’ll stop waffling now 🙂


    • femaleptsd

      December 8, 2011 at 11:20 pm

      Yeah I guess I was just waiting to see if they wanted to see me rather than asking – it’s that feeling of not wanting to bother anyone cos not really worth it!

      That’s a really good idea about copying my blog post in to the mind address – going to do that now 🙂 x


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