I’ve ummed and ahhed about writing this post for a few days. It is extremely personal and to be honest quite a scary thing that totally freaked me out and one I know I will struggle to write about. However, I have decided to go ahead with it for 2 reasons:
1 – Selfishly if anyone else has experienced this then I would really appreciate you telling me (either post a comment and ask for it not to be published if you don’t want it to or email me through the contact form).
2 – If anyone else has been through this and it has freaked them out like me, then know you are not alone in it
Ok, so here goes. A few times over the past couple of weeks I’ve experienced what I can only describe as being in a different time. I go back to before I was assaulted and stay in that period for quite a while (was nearly 2 days last time). The thing is, now I am in the correct year, I know that it wasn’t real but in that period I knew it was 2009. I had absolutely no recollection of any assault and I actually had a debate with my cc and therapist in that time that I was right and got angry that they were trying to say otherwise. They pointed out that all diaries, newspapers and internet said 2011 so why was I so resolute that it was 2009. I couldn’t answer them but just knew I was right. I don’t remember going ‘into’ or ‘out’ of this year except flashbacks started again when I am in the real now.
The only thing I can try to explain this is it is the anniversary coming up and I know I am becoming extremely anxious about it. I just don’t know if this is ‘normal’ and is kind of scaring me. Everytime I ‘remember’ again, it is like going through it all again. If anyone can shed any light on this I would be extremely grateful!!! Also a quick mention to @aclolitac on twitter for listening to this when I first realised and was freaking out!!