Rant about getting help!

This is no more than me having a rant about trying to get help when I feel I need it.

I’m not one to call my care co-ordinator outside of our weekly appointments, I generally try to hang on until I see her face to face. This is mainly because I really struggle to use the phone and ask for help, so when I do it, it’s actually quite a big deal. My cc knows and appreciates this.

Today, I’d had enough. On Monday in my appointment with my cc, it was suggested that my anti-depressants might be increased because I’m having such a hard time at the moment. She also asked if I thought a sleeping tablet for a few days would be a good idea. I said I’m happy for increase but I’d rather not take another medication on top of this.

However, after 6 nights of hardly any sleep (think I’ve managed around 10 hours in that time), I decided I’d ask for those sleeping tablets. In the past they haven’t really been effective, but really grasping at straws here. For those that don’t know, until fairly recently I used to use over the counter sleeping meds to ‘knock me out’ when my emotions got too much for me to deal with (usually taking quite a few of them!) and to be quite honest it’s been in the back of my mind that I should do it again just to relieve some sleep tension.

But instead, I called my cc just now and asked if she could get me some prescription ones and she told me she’d already asked my psychiatrist at the same time as asking about a dose increase. In terms of that increase, my psych had said no, she feels that it’s because I’m going through a rough time in therapy and not something an anti-depressant can help with. Fair enough, I trust she knows her job and the best for me in terms of that. But she also refused me sleeping tablets because she said I’m an increased risk with the way I’m feeling.

So here’s me, trying to work with them, asking for only 2-3 days worth and being told no. Exactly what incentive have I got not to go back to my old way? I’ve tried really hard to see their point of view, but I can’t! How much harm can I do with 2 or 3 tablets as opposed to the pack that’s now looking likely of the over the counter stuff?

It seems I’m always told to ring in for help, but when I do there is nothing they are willing to do. Not even give me a daily prescription, just a resounding no!

**UPDATE**
This afternoon (the next day), my cc called and said her & my psych had a chat and because I’m working so hard in therapy at the min, and trying to avoid old coping strategies, they want to support me. And so I’ve been prescribed 4 days worth of zopiclone to get me over the weekend and will reassess on Monday. Feel happy that I’m being taken seriously and listened to!