It’s 3 o’clock on a Friday afternoon and most of my social media pages are filled with comments about it nearly being the weekend and how great it is (especially as the clocks go back and we gain another hour). And I’m really pleased for my friends who are looking forward to 2 days off, but then there is the reality…
Friday for me means getting through days knowing there is very little support around. Especially the way I am feeling at the moment, where suicidal thoughts are on my mind a lot, knowing that there is very little help is a hard thing to deal with.
I am told to go to a&e if I get bad. Again, a reality check. A&E at weekends is probably their busiest time – full of drunks and people going out for a good time (that has gone wrong in some way). Is this a place I would take myself if I was feeling like I would act on my suicidal thoughts? No, it really isn’t. I’m sure there are exceptions to the rule but whenever I’ve been in a&e after an od, I have been patronised and made to feel like I’m wasting their time.
So with a&e really not being an option, it is down to me to make it through every hour (which trust me at the minute, is no easy task). It just brings up that age old question, why is mental health seen as a Monday to Friday, 9-5 illness?