New Therapist

02 Jan

Today I went to meet my new therapist. My last session with my previous therapist was in November before she went on maternity leave, so it’s been a couple of months. I’ll admit to feeling rather anxious, things haven’t been easy over the Christmas/New Year period and I feel on a very tight rope at the moment.

Taking all this in to account, I still went along today with an open mind. I remember first meeting my last therapist and having reservations about her. I thought she was too ‘fragile’ and didn’t feel able to speak my mind. Once I overcame this obstacle though, we forged a good relationship and by the end, she knew how to help me and get the best from me.

I know this took time to grow and so I knew that any new therapist I met I’d have to go through this process with. If I’m being honest, I don’t think I ever accepted the end of that last relationship. It has felt more like she has been on holiday and it was only going back to the offices today and seeing someone else that it has sunk in.

The fact is, the new therapist needs to understand me by asking me questions, being around me and seeing how I work. No amount of notes will give that kind of information and I understand this and am ok with it. What I don’t want to go over is the facts and basics of why I’m there, they won’t change from what is written down.

Today, I feel like I’ve had to explain my situation to someone who has never heard it before and that takes a lot from me. I don’t need right now to be reminded of it all, I need help to deal with the thoughts, the nightmares, the flashbacks – not to be triggered to all this.

This is personal preference, but when in therapy, I don’t like note taking. I feel it creates a barrier and on a number of occasions I had to repeat myself as she was writing previous thoughts whilst I’d moved on. That’s fine for some, but it takes me a lot to say it the first time and I just don’t feel like I want to sit repeating myself.

I know each therapist has their own style and no two are ever the same but I thought there were certain things they are trained in. For example, if unclear, ask and don’t make assumptions. This didn’t seem to be true today and I found myself getting frustrated because I kept having to say no. For example (and this is a stupid example) but I told her I felt being back in therapy was like having a mountain in front of me and that the top of the mountain was feeling how I did with previous therapist and therefore able to carry on where I left off. She thought I meant that therapy as a whole was a mountain and so I tried to clarify that I meant coming back in to therapy, not the process as a whole. After 10 mins of trying to explain what I meant, I gave up. The problem is, I generally work in analogies, it allows me to express my thoughts and everyone I’ve worked with so far has got this part of me straight away. However she seemed to make assumptions and once that had been made, wouldn’t change from it.

To be honest, after the appointment today, I have been left thinking that I don’t know if therapy is the right thing for me at the minute. I feel in too vulnerable a place for this. It has left me in a very low place.

1 Comment

Posted by on January 2, 2013 in Uncategorized


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One response to “New Therapist

  1. Catherine Ann McArdle

    February 28, 2013 at 7:33 am

    I don’t get along with people who assume yhings & then even when you try to explain they still stick what they assumed. I have this problem with my grandad. He lives his life going by what he has a assumed & no matter what facts you present him with he still believes whatever he has assumed. He thinks that Im stupid or thick but so many times I have presented him with factsto back up what Im saying. On the occasion where he has listened to the fact Ive given him he feels I am belittling him. For example & this is a rubbish example, 16 years ago when I was 15, I was a typical teenager that had trouble with getting out of bed, so he would be calling me, calling me & calling me until eventually I got out of bed. Yes, I would be late for school! But, 16 years down the line & after the break up with my partner, Ive found myself staying with them. So, he has assumed that nothing has changed with me & every morning he is at my bedroom door hollering & shouting. I might be in the process of getting dressed but he’s outside the door banging & losing his temper! As Im getting dressed or doing whatever he assumes Im still in bed. I will give him the facts, For the last 10 years I have done an 7.30am start 3 times a week, I have got myself up I have on the very rarely been late & Im employed by the same company! Despite telling him this at least 3 times a week each morning, he never fails to be waiting outside my room banging on the door every 2 minutes working himself up & eventually having an arguement because when reminded of the facts that dismiss all what you are saying! Anyway, thats my rant about people that assume things! x


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